Building self confidence in dating

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Writing them down gives them a degree of objectivity and safety, and helps us realize that our wounds are not always as deep as they seem.

Journaling also creates a record of your growth for you to revisit, so you can track your wins along the way.

Understanding how to restore confidence when it dips is an essential skill, and it depends on three core components: attitude, knowledge and experience.

By working within those three domains, we can learn to rebuild and sustain confidence through its natural ebbs and flow.

) Like all good therapy, the goal here is to get back to the business of being you — to the process of building your confidence by checking in with yourself, staying in the game, reframing your setbacks, and remembering that beautiful paradox: that by risking your confidence out there in the world, you ultimately contribute to its growth. An executive there once thought he was going to get fired after losing million of the company’s money, only to have the CEO surprise him. The rest of the story is what you choose to learn and do by seeing the situation differently. As interviewer Zane Lowe once said to Kanye West, “You win or you learn.” Through that lens, total failure — in which you gain nothing at all — is actually an illusion. And let’s be honest: When you’re feeling unconfident, quitting often feels like the only viable option.

This technique is called reframing touched on previously), and this perceptual shift allows you transform the beliefs that don’t help you achieve your goals (called “unresourceful beliefs”) into ones that do, and create actionable steps to make change. There are few things as immediately gratifying as quitting. But quitting has long-term consequences that can far outweigh the immediate rewards.

On the contrary: true confidence comes from accepting blows to our ego, allowing ourselves to acknowledge the associated feelings, and finding ways to stay in the game.

True confidence isn’t about suppressing pain or pretending that failure doesn’t hurt.

Remember, vulnerability is the most profound form of strength.

If your confidence has taken a hit, don’t expect the recovery to be instantaneous.

Remember: Tending to your wounds is a crucial step in restoring confidence, but it’s not an end in and of itself.

Ignoring a blow to your confidence is just as dangerous as overindulging in self pity.

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